Body Confidence, Self Acceptance and Adore Me

Hey Guys!!

So it has been 'long time no see' from me on this blog and I am so so so so so so so sorry about that! My university work has been really tough with 8 essays and 7 working journals to write as well as assessments all in the space of a month - yeah, a little bit tough! Most of them are out of the way now though which means more writing time and I have some really great blog posts all lined up and ready to go.

About a month ago,  Adore Me launched a body confidence and self awareness campaign as part of Women's History Month and thought it would be good if I could talk about my views on body confidence and self acceptance and I immediately jumped at the chance to. This is something I have wanted to talk about FOR AGES! I'm going to be doing this in two parts though: this post is going to be about how I came to accept my body, what makes me feel good and talking about a wonderful video that Adore Me sent me and my second one is going to be about my recent struggles with mental health after being attacked in my first week in London and how to cope with the struggles that mental health throws at you. So without further ado... HERE WE GO!

First of all, go check out the beautiful items on the Adore Me website by clicking on the logo below (they offer both petite and plus size lingerie). I'm such a poor student so I cannot afford ANYTHING at the moment but a lot of these items have been added to my personal wishlist and I'm sure you guys will find something that you fall in love with too!


Body Confidence and Finding Myself


Body confidence is something that I have always struggled with. Growing up in a dance studio I was constantly faced with looking at myself in the mirror and being a critical person, I always found things about myself that I didn't like and compared myself to other people a lot: Why aren't I as pretty as they are? Why aren't I as thin as that? Why do I have to be the one with the big butt? Why can't my hair just look nice for once? etc, etc... A lot of my teachers used to tell me that I just needed to be more confident... but you can't buy confidence in shops so how could I do this? Especially in today's society, where people are faced with 'perfect' looking images on social media from a young age and the ever present 'popularity' groups that surround young people at school, it is hard to feel confident and secure in your own skin.

For me it was finding who I was. For a lot of years I was so lost as to who I was; I didn't really have any favourites in music, clothing or styles and found it very hard to fit in. I then discovered rock music and fell in love. There was just something that spoke to me about it (cringey I know but it is true) and I adored the look that went with the genre of music. With a lot of experimentation, I have been able to make my own personal style adding elements of classic goth, Victoriana, Lolita, Steampunk and Cyber Goth as well as creating a lot of comfy goth looks which are mainly the ones you see on this blog! Although this style obviously brings a lot of challenges (I became the teasing point for many people at school and even now people in the streets of London feel the need to make comments that really aren't neccessary), I now feel a lot more confident from finding myself.

Self Acceptance and What Makes Me Feel Good in my Skin


Finding yourself doesn't end the problem though and it is something I have had to work extremely hard on but there are several things I have done/ do to make me feel good in my skin. 

Learning About Make-Up


One of those things was learning how to use make-up and finding what suits me. I spend hours watching tutorials and practicing and getting the right make-up to go with an outfit feels so rewarding and you feel a lot more confident. DON'T LET ANYONE EVER TELL YOU THAT MAKE-UP IS BAD! I get told so many times how 'I shouldn't wear make-up as it is false advertisement' or 'Wearing make-up makes you fake.' HELL NO! Make-up should be a personal thing and is an art specifically for you! Use it to make you feel good about yourself and have fun! Don't listen to the haters!

My favourite make-up products are:

  • Avon Ideal Flawless Foundation in the shade 'Ivory'
  • Maybelline 'The Eraser' Eye in shade 'Light'
  • Real Techniques Brushes (Everything from foundation brushes to eye brushes)
  • Real Techniques Miracle Complexion Sponge
  • Maybelline 'The Nudes' Palette 
  • Eco Tools Basic Starter Brushes
  • Rimmel 'Stay Matte' powder in 'Transparent'
  • Rimmel 'Exaggerate' Black Liquid Liner
  • Rimmel 'Kate' Mascara
  • MAC Matte Lipstick in the shade 'Studded Kiss'
  • Stargazer Black Lipstick


Outfits


As I said earlier, I have created my own, unique style that I love to wear. Find a style that you love and find clothes that make you feel sexy and empowered. Don't listen to anyone else as this is about you! What makes me feel really good though is picking an amazing outfit that you feel good in! Thigh high socks and tights (especially my lovely cat tights) make me feel sexy and help give a good line to my legs. Black lace tops and the silver accessories are the key to make me feel good!

My favourite items of clothing are;

  • Hot leather shorts from 'Forever 21' (see outfit of the day)
  • Cat thigh high tights from 'Pretty Polly'
  • Demonia 'Sinister' boots
  • Black Lace Long Sleeve top from Spiral Clothing
  • Bat Boots from Bat Royalty
  • Bad to the Bone Dress from Bat Royalty


WIGS!


This is a very personal one to me but would love to share it with you! I have never been happy with my hair. It is long, brown and curly and looks like Hagrid's hair from Harry Potter most of the time. I straighten it a lot but that's all I can really do with it! As I'm training to be an actor, I can't have the crazy hair I'd like to so I turn to wigs! These really help me feel confident as I can change my hair every day depending on my mood and it adds so much to the outfits I plan!

My favourite wigs are:

  • 'Winter' from Lush Wigs
  • 'Vixen' from Black Candy Fashion
  • 'Teal Long' from Wigaholics

Learn to Pamper Yourself!


This is one that I found pretty late. Whether it is a simple face moisturizer or the whole body shebang, learn to take some time out and pamper your body. It makes you feel so good about yourself and helps your skin along the way.

My favourite pampering products are:

  • Kind to the Skin Hydrating Moisturizer from Simple
  • Coconut Moisturizer from Inecto
  • 'Go Faster Feet' foot lotion from 'Lush' - I really need to buy some more but have no money!

The Right Underwear!


Lingerie is not something that you should ever consider to be 'just for your partner.' Lingerie can help you to feel empowered and sexy wherever you go! The right underwear on at the beginning of the day really helps me to set out with confidence! More about this one later though!


SHUT OUT THE HATERS!


The most important one!! There are so many people on this planet that will say nasty things about you. Unfortunately, we live in a world where not everyone is nice and accepting but what you have to do to stay on top is to just block it out, as hard as it seems. I used to really struggle to block it out and used to let a lot of things get to me but now, I laugh it off. If somebody can't accept me or feels the need to be rude to me then I feel sorry for them as a person. Never let anyone get you down and if they do, please feel free to drop me a tweet or instagram me at @ylimekookey and I can be your ears. Someone to just rant to if you need to.

ADORE ME VIDEO

This is the REALLY exciting bit. Here below (hopefully if it works) is the video that Adore Me sent to me and I love it!



First of all Loey Lane is stunning! Such a beautiful woman and it is good to see someone so comfortable in her own skin. Throughout the video, Loey talks about sexy being about empowerment and how the right underwear can do this for you and I think this is SO true! As I said earlier, finding the right underwear can make you feel happy, sexy and ready for your day! I love that she talks about her own personal favourites from Adore Me. It's really great to choose lingerie that you think suits you and that you can feel good in! Sexy is for everyone! Don't be deceived by the things you see online or on your instagram. Focus on yourself, feel good about yourself and above all LOVE yourself. You only have one chance at life so make the most of it! I know that all of you are beautiful. No matter who you are or where you are from you are ALL beautiful and you all have something so spectacular and unique to give to world so don't ever give up and have fun!!!!!

OUTFIT OF THE DAY

As we are speaking about body empowerment and feeling sexy, here is the outfit that I feel most confident and comfortable in! Sorry about quality!







Wig: Lush Wigs 'Winter' - £24.99
Choker: Claires - £5.50
Top: I actually made this out of a pair of tights from Primark! They cost £1.99!
Crop Top (Over the top): Ebay - £0.99
Shorts: Forever 21 - £16.99
Tights: Ebay - £8.00
Shoes: Office - £70.00

SONG OF THE DAY

FEEL GOOD DRAG - ANBERLIN


Taking it back to my 15 year old days!



SEE YA NEXT TIME GUYS!

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